Yes, I know what some of you are saying. “How cliché, horrible beginning for a Blog". It may be true but my apologies for the obvious display of inexperience as a writer. Always asked myself, what makes people go the internet and talk about their issues and expose personal details of their lives? Eureka...today, I got it!!!!
Talking in Facebook with a long time friend noticed how much far apart we tend to grow from each other while getting busy in our daily routine. She mentioned to me how depressed she was, and when I asked her, why?, she replied, I will talk to you on Saturday is a long story and don't have the time now to explain. What a sad decision, but I forgive her because many times I felt the same way, sometimes the feelings and responsibilities are equally strong and time scarce.
Well, I made a decision today to find time on my busy life to do what I always critiqued of many. Opened my blog account and promised myself to say my peace to whomever is out there that feels the same way as I do. I warning you, I am not a writer, never went to school here in USA to learn English. Wow only 3 paragraphs and seeing already how many times I said I. It’s that bad? Any advice? Well I guess is because I am talking, here comes again the “I”, in first person. But it sounds weird when I read it, but don’t know what to do…never mind keep reading…. :-)
I always said to my friends my English was perfected by the great phenomenon and ingenuity of the CLOSED CAPTION. They said that CC is for hearing impaired and husbands that get yelled by the wife if they dare to raise the volume of the TV set while trying to sleep, NO WAY JOSE, Closed Caption was created also for me, so I can learn English and this is how.
It was easy to figured out that the only way for me to learn a new language was to start like I did when a child learning Spanish. As a baby I was hearing my mother saying small words, then the cartoons with more action and few other words, little by little you started to watch more complicated programs and one day? Voila! You speak the language. The Closed Caption helped me to learn new words while watching programs like Blue’s Clues, Dora the Explorer, Sponge Bob, The Big Bear, etc but never those weird Teletubies. Few months later I moved to nickelodeons and then News and Movies and in about 2 years only watching television in English and avoiding Spanish TV as much as I could, in 1996 applied for my first important job at Clinic Health Laboratories in Cleveland OH. I know...how the heck I ended up in Ohio, well keep reading this blog to get the whole story....for FREE
I had the privilege to come to America in 1994 from Cuba by plane with a student visa to finish my religious studies. I am the result of 50 years of communist brain wash and dictatorship in my motherland. There was a period of prohibition by the government of anything that represented USA, as they called and still calls "THE ENEMY OF THE REVOLUTION", simple things like chewing gum was a public display of ideological perversion. So, never even think of looking at an old Sears catalogs from the time before the revolution, that many people, kept in secret for years to remind their future generations of what Cuba was before the bearded revolutionaries came along with this idea of independence and socialist republic. I had the chance to look at those catalogs and see the abundance of happiness on those advertisement or as they call it back home, "ANTI-REVOLUTIONARY PROPAGANDA". I have to admit, Fidel was right, it worked, it was this prohibition what made my dreams of one day stand at the automated doors of Sears Store with money to buy some tools and a riding mower.
Not only my dream to come to America and live a life free of prohibitions and ideological persecution was constantly beating my head, but also I was dreaming and wanted to learn English. As Fidel's pioneer, was forced to study Russian for 6 years during middle and high school. Da..., that is Yes in Russian, and that the more Russian I was forced to learned the more English I wanted to speak. I am pretty sure that psychologist have a term for that not quite sure what it is, anyways, it was march 4th of 1994 that I left my family, friend and 24 years of my life and history in Cuba to live among "THE ENEMYOF THE NORTH". What a ride!!!!
As soon as I started walking towards, the American Airline plane, this huge bird that will take me to freedom I had weird mixed emotions and why not, fear and pain that was digging deep into my heart. I couldn’t stop to look back and see the eyes of my father full of tears. I knew that I was gaining freedom but giving something even bigger "LOVE". I never felt that loved before and for a split second thought of coming back and sacrifice it all for not losing my father's love. The night before to my departure, I visited him to say goodbye in private, because in Cuba everything must be done that way since anyone can turn against you and tell the government. My father said to me this words that I'll never forget, "Son, never come back, even if you hear that I'm dying never come back, don't lose your freedom for trying to give me comfort. I will die happy knowing you are safe and doing well in USA".
Wow, psychological breakthrough, I just realized why I am doing this, my father is now 72 years old and is slowly dying in Havana with the horrible Alzheimer’s disease. Two days ago I spoke to him and didn’t know who I was or who my mother was, a terrible pain cover me knowing that on May the 28th he will be 73 years old and when I call him to say Happy Birthday we will not know where is coming from and that the memories we had together are now gone from his brain, and that the next time I'll look at his eyes, he will look back at me as an estranger. Sorry, I have to stop now....but I promise today and now that I will keep our memories alive for ever in mine. Good Night Viejo!!!!
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